My “Perfect” Personal Ad

NOTE: I’m not on this trip looking for a woman. I got into a conversation awhile back with someone about “Personal Ads” and they asked me what I thought was the perfect personal ad. I gave it some thought and came up with this. Again, I am NOT looking for a woman on this trip — if it happens it happens AND I had to find something to post on the blog today.

Read on.

Self portrait

I’m looking for a friend, a partner…someone to travel this journey called life with me. The kind of lady that gets my attention is someone that is about life and about living. You can think outside of the box…you can cast the ropes off that hold most people in the harbor and set sail. You’re in your mid 40s to early 50s and you’re tired of life as it’s become and you want start living the adventure and you want a free spirit to live it with you.

I’m looking for a lady who is as comfortable in jeans and workboots as she is in an evening gown and is NOT afraid of PDAs (Public Displays of Affection).

I wish the “Ethnicity” question on the profile would give more choices. I’m 50% Scotch/Irish and 50% American Indian. My profile name: “MeeSoon” is also my Indian name and it means “Little Brother”.

I’m here in Asheville NC for until a season. I’ve completed a 21 state, 6800 mile cross country bicycle trip in support of veterans and I’m on another cross country bicycle trip now. I have several options on down the road to pursue, but in the meantime, just taking it one day at a time…who knows, I might meet “Ms. Right” and all those options are forgotten.

I’ve been involved with a variety of veteran groups for over 25 years, and enjoy it tremendously. Helping people in a time of need has given me great satisfaction. Although it is very time consuming, I would not trade the experience for anything. The bond that is developed between “brothers” is very special, and a large part of what has made it such a rewarding endeavor.

I guess I am pretty old fashioned, and much prefer a lady that is similar. Tomboys are always welcome, as I appreciate a lady that is not afraid to go to the store without her make-up, and does not cringe at the thought of getting her hands a little greasy or dirty. Without a doubt, the most important thing to me is what a woman holds in her mind and heart. But if you’re the least bit into telling others how to think, feel, believe or behave, then I’ll take it kindly if you’ll kindly let me be.

Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

As you can imagine, I sometimes get swamped by emails, text messages and the like from the ladies. While all the attention is appreciated and is a great balm for this grizzeled ol’ vet, there are some things you need to know in order to attract my attention. I’ve put together a little Cliff Notes 101 for you on Getting Jerry’s Attention

I’m not much of a cook, I do not like beer, I like to gamble (ok, actually I hate gambling – it’s winning I enjoy) and play poker, I’m not a cat person, boxing is my favorite sport, Clear is my favorite color. I have no criminal record, no STD’s, I have never been administered involuntary psychotropic medication, I’m generous and kind-hearted, fairly intelligent, somewhat attractive (I’ve been told) and I drink the recommended 8 glasses of water per day. I think that’s just about it in a nutshell! Oh, and I’m addicted to Starbucks.

I also enjoy traveling, reading, trivia and chess.

I am NOT, nor do I anticipate becoming, a NASCAR fan.

Proper use of grammar and spelling is a highly desirable trait. The only thing worse than poor grammar and spelling is if you tYpE LiKe tHiS.

If you have any felony convictions, outstanding warrants, are currently on probation/parole, can’t pass a drug test or you have multiple baby daddy’s… I am NOT loving it.

If you wear turquoise jewelry or we meet for a drink and you order a strawberry daiquiri… yeah, it won’t work for us.

My pet peeve is receiving a message like this:

where people just ramble on about mindless crap complete with speling erors and absolutely no punctuation boy are they fun to read i especially love it when they inexplicably HIT THE CAPS LOCK KEY YOUD THINK THEY MIGHT NOTICE THAT BUT IT DOESNT SLOW THEM DOWN AT ALL

Sorry ladies, but I’m not interested in communicating with some twenty year old college kid… I don’t care how cute you are.

If you are a Master of Brevity, more power to you, but please do not send me a message filled with every acronym you know. Complete sentences are greatly appreciated from time to time. Please do not ask me what an acronym is. Be resourceful… look it up.

I don’t play games and I don’t waste time… I tend to be outspoken, which is NOT the same as unfair or unreasonable… I just voice my opinion. I am an independent thinker. If this is a problem for you, we probably will not be a good match.

To all the people that have the standard, “My friends say I’m blah, blah, blah…” line; do you really ask them what they think or is it just wishful thinking, you HOPE it’s what they would say?

I have very cool friends but, I gotta tell ya, it’s highly unlikely any of them would describe me as kind, compassionate, loving, caring, etc. I am all those things (and they know that) but to be perfectly honest, if you asked my friends to describe me it would be closer to this… “he’s funny, smart, loyal, crazy and sarcastic.”

Maybe your friends are just more polite than mine.

**NO PHOTO, NO RESPONSE** You can upload pics and keep them private, simply attach them to your message – so don’t tell me you’re concerned about privacy and offer to email some later. Photos initially grab your attention, then you MIGHT read more. You know it’s true! Don’t expect me to be any different.

For those that use the excuse they don’t know how to upload photos…bye. I’m not into the technologically challenged.

If the phrase “whoa doggy” is part of your vocabulary, if you think Daisy Duke is a fashion icon or if you list DRINKING as a hobby (and mean it!) I AM NOT THE GUY FOR YOU!

Think about this people… if I didn’t actually experience all these things, I wouldn’t have a negative attitude towards them. It’s not MY fault… I’m just reacting to the behavior of others! Because I’m also kind and generous, I share my experiences with hope of teaching others to not make the same mistakes.

I’m sweet like that.

My idea of a great first date: I’m looking for a lady that has her act together and is open to the possibility of a relationship. LITTLE TIP: If you need space and time to “find yourself” please work on your issues PRIOR to contacting me. I’m not looking to inherit someone else’s problem.

**UPDATE**Some people seem to think I have far too many restrictions in place and it’s “impossible” to meet a lady that matches my criteria… GET REAL! Expecting a decently attractive, decently intelligent, employed lady (with a pulse,) that doesn’t shoot heroin shouldn’t be a problem. If it is, I’ll happily stay single.

2 thoughts on “My “Perfect” Personal Ad

  1. Pingback: It’s My Birthday Today…. « JourneyAmerica

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