Dear Mom, I’m Going to Jail

Smoking Ban

Dear Mom:

At the moment I’m setting in Pritchard Park here in Asheville. Just relaxing some before I start the day. Enjoying the breeze, the sun and the pigeons. I’m watching the crowds go by as I sip coffee and smoke a cigarette. Asheville is a good place to live.

But the “geezelheads” at City Council really screwed up last night. They voted (6-1) to ban smoking in the park. These folks don’t have the sense that God gave an aardvark. Asheville city parks are usually crowded in good weather, so how in the world will the cops be able to enforce a no-smoking ban? Then think about the tourists that come to town. Will the tobacco nazi’s also charge the tourists $50 per smoke? That’s what the fine is for lighting up in Pritchard Park starting July 1.

Guess they have to figure out a way to pay for the hundred of thousands of dollars that the Citizen Times reports Obama’s visit to our little spot in the mountains is costing us.

Me? I’m going to challenge the law come July 1st. So if you don’t hear from me for a few weeks, I guess it’ll mean that I’m a guest of the city pokey. Safe and secure in my little jail cell where it’s still ok to smoke.

Your loving son,
Jerry

One thought on “Dear Mom, I’m Going to Jail

  1. Hey there, Jerry. I’m guessing opinions will be divided along smoker/non-smoker lines. I’m a non-smoker and was very happy when they banned smoking in restaurants, bars and the beach in Los Angeles. I don’t mind people smoking, I just don’t want to smell it. I joked once that if I were going to run for office in LA I’d run on a platform that required people smoking in their cars to keep their windows rolled up. Stopping at a light with smokers around isn’t pleasant either.

    Then there’s the issue of butts. One of my least favorite duties as a young Airman was picking up the butts left by others. Didn’t really endear me to the habit then either. Just yesterday the car in front of me flicked a butt out that hit my car.

    I’ll close with the classic Steve Martin joke:
    “Mind if I smoke?”
    “No, mind if I fart?”

    Peace out!

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